Aaron Mello resigns from RMMRA

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my resignation from RMMRA, effective April 1, 2019. Unfortunately, this means that the group will go into indefinite hiatus.

Over the last few years, RMMRA have been working to create meaningful positive change in the lives of men and boys. We have focused on three main avenues to accomplish this goal.

One, we’ve worked on raising awareness of men’s issues by hosting booths at Denver PrideFest in 2017 and People’s Fair in 2018. Although we had overwhelmingly positive conversations with people at both events, we also had a few very negative reactions from people who were unwilling to have a conversation with us. These people made assumptions about our beliefs and goals and some of them actively worked to exclude us from events. At PrideFest we were protested and ultimately disinvited from returning the following year. The next year at People’s Fair, our presence was met with threats of violence online.

The MRA (Men’s Rights Advocacy) label has stigmatized us and attracted significant negative attention from a small but very vocal minority of ideologues who are opposed to anyone discussing gender politics from a point of view they don’t condone and control. Preconceived notions about MRA philosophy have caused close-minded people to attack us without taking the time to understand what our group is about. It’s proven to be extremely difficult to have a conversation about men’s issues in the current political climate.

Our second objective was to build a list of resources for men to whom we can refer men and people who love them who are in need of help. Although we compiled some resources, the administrative burden of building that list and connecting those in need proved more time consuming than we were able to handle as a small volunteer organization. We were able to connect several men in need with resources to help them out, which I view as a major success! I wish we’d been able to do more.

Our third objective was to provide a place where people could talk about gender politics openly and without fear of retaliation. I’ve learned that there are a lot of people out there who disagree with aspects of the prevailing feminist dogma, but not many are willing and able to be public about it, precisely because the blowback is often so strong.

Karen Straughan once said that if person A knows X and person B knows X, but person A and person B don’t know each other knows X, they’ll stay silent. That’s definitely what’s happening now. There are a lot of people who know X, but they’re afraid to say so publicly. Of course, the irony is that if these people could all announce that they know X publicly at the same time it would be powerful enough to negate the blowback. Life is full of irony.

Regarding RMMRA, we plan to leave our website up as a resource. The RMMRA Facebook page is changing hands and will be renamed. From here on out it will not be managed by me or any other RMMRA members formerly involved in content selection.

I want to extend a sincere “thank you” to everyone who has volunteered their time, sent us a supportive email or made a donation to help us out. We certainly couldn’t have accomplished anything we did without your help and support!

Hopefully the day comes soon when the tides turn sufficiently that all of us who know X can stand up and say so without being attacked. Until then, au revoir!