Aaron Mello resigns from RMMRA

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my resignation from RMMRA, effective April 1, 2019. Unfortunately, this means that the group will go into indefinite hiatus.

Over the last few years, RMMRA have been working to create meaningful positive change in the lives of men and boys. We have focused on three main avenues to accomplish this goal.

One, we’ve worked on raising awareness of men’s issues by hosting booths at Denver PrideFest in 2017 and People’s Fair in 2018. Although we had overwhelmingly positive conversations with people at both events, we also had a few very negative reactions from people who were unwilling to have a conversation with us. These people made assumptions about our beliefs and goals and some of them actively worked to exclude us from events. At PrideFest we were protested and ultimately disinvited from returning the following year. The next year at People’s Fair, our presence was met with threats of violence online.

The MRA (Men’s Rights Advocacy) label has stigmatized us and attracted significant negative attention from a small but very vocal minority of ideologues who are opposed to anyone discussing gender politics from a point of view they don’t condone and control. Preconceived notions about MRA philosophy have caused close-minded people to attack us without taking the time to understand what our group is about. It’s proven to be extremely difficult to have a conversation about men’s issues in the current political climate.

Our second objective was to build a list of resources for men to whom we can refer men and people who love them who are in need of help. Although we compiled some resources, the administrative burden of building that list and connecting those in need proved more time consuming than we were able to handle as a small volunteer organization. We were able to connect several men in need with resources to help them out, which I view as a major success! I wish we’d been able to do more.

Our third objective was to provide a place where people could talk about gender politics openly and without fear of retaliation. I’ve learned that there are a lot of people out there who disagree with aspects of the prevailing feminist dogma, but not many are willing and able to be public about it, precisely because the blowback is often so strong.

Karen Straughan once said that if person A knows X and person B knows X, but person A and person B don’t know each other knows X, they’ll stay silent. That’s definitely what’s happening now. There are a lot of people who know X, but they’re afraid to say so publicly. Of course, the irony is that if these people could all announce that they know X publicly at the same time it would be powerful enough to negate the blowback. Life is full of irony.

Regarding RMMRA, we plan to leave our website up as a resource. The RMMRA Facebook page is changing hands and will be renamed. From here on out it will not be managed by me or any other RMMRA members formerly involved in content selection.

I want to extend a sincere “thank you” to everyone who has volunteered their time, sent us a supportive email or made a donation to help us out. We certainly couldn’t have accomplished anything we did without your help and support!

Hopefully the day comes soon when the tides turn sufficiently that all of us who know X can stand up and say so without being attacked. Until then, au revoir!

Win For Colorado Dads

Art Director Michael Combs of Cash&Prizes and Nationally Recognized Musician & Advocate Philly Slimm have succeeded in their argument before the Child Support Commission, which as a result has decided to reduce the child support cap from 40% to 20% in Colorado for the coming legislation session. It is a tremendous step in the right direction and will reduce one the many incentives that reinforce the fatherlessness epidemic today.

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Planning Paternity: Falling Through the Cracks

This is the second post in a three part series I'm writing on men's lack of paternity options. As I clarified in Part 1, Planning Paternity: Restricted Birth Control Choices for Men, males are drastically limited to the choices they can make to prevent parenthood. Some of their best choices outside of abstinence and sterilization still leave them vulnerable to accidental pregnancies. Despite their reasonable attempts to prevent a pregnancy, they can find themselves stuck with a legally enforceable financial obligation for the child and occasionally the mother.

Men in these cases may still not receive sympathy. Because they consented to intercourse, our legal system holds them responsible for the outcome. This is a clear lack of rights when compared to a woman’s rights. Women can completely sever the choices between sex and motherhood but men’s choice about fatherhood is made when they choose to have sex. However, this issue becomes even worse for the men who fall through the cracks. 

What happens to the men who father a child without consenting to sex or having sexual intercourse at all? In this post I'll explore cases of stolen sperm, forced envelopment, statutory rape, and paternity fraud. I’ll even throw in an added bonus about sperm donors.

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Video: Can Men Act as Freely as Women?

Gerard Nicol shares his experience of his son being taken by a stranger and explains how he, as a male had to respond to the experience. He also explains how he was judged for his response and now that demonstrates a lack of empathy for the way men have to protect themselves from potential accusations from women, even when they are the victim of a wrong.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8fUk813Kr...

Planning Paternity: Restricted Birth Control Choices for Men

Life without birth control is almost unimaginable for most in the united states. In fact, birth control has altered American culture and how we interact in heterosexual relationships. In the past, heterosexual couples might save sex for after marriage or once they’ve agreed to stay together long enough to raise a child. Today consensual sex between men and women can come without a major concern for pregnancy and long term commitment. However, even though we have many more freedoms, there are still cracks in the system that leave men vulnerable to unwanted guardianship and forced financial responsibilities. 

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Rocky Mountain MRA article in 303 Magazine!

We are really excited to announce that 303 Magazine published a story about our group recently. If you've been involved in or aware of the Men's Rights Movement (MRM) for awhile, you probably know how difficult it can be to get our ideas represented fairly by the media. In fact, all too often reporting on the MRM is more like a hit piece than factual reporting.

That's why we are so excited to have this article published. It generally paints a pretty accurate picture of what Rocky Mountain MRA (RMMRA) is about. You can check it out for yourself here. In this post I'll give a few of my thoughts about what the article gets right and what I think could be changed. Let's start with the things I like about it.

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A Brief History of the Men’s Rights Movement As Told by a Feminist

The men’s rights movement (MRM) is seen as a relatively recent phenomenon borne out of charismatic youtube personalities and lively message boards. Though technologically savvy, this movement has deep ideological roots. In fact, it can be argued that the MRM and feminism were born in the same generation. While proto-feminists fought for the vote in the 1910s, men started dodging the draft as early as 1898 during the Spanish-American War (1). On a fundamental level, each side fought for their political rights. While women opted in, men opted out. 

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Loving Men at Denver PrideFest: From Indiana to Colorado

‘We Love Men’. I stood in front of a beautifully made sign that said just that for much of my time at the Denver PrideFest, and handed out ‘I Love Men’ buttons to passersby.  Such a phrase might not be out of place for a man to say at an event like PrideFest, which has its roots as a celebration of gay culture. I may not be gay, but as a Men’s Rights Advocate (MRA), I do care deeply about love for men.

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